Today marks the beginning of Family Mediation Week (26-30 January 2026), which calls attention to family mediation as a crucial and cost-effective resolution option for couples going through a separation. It’s about promoting a calmer, more constructive way for families to move forward, one that keeps choice and control with you, rather than handing everything over to a court.
What is family mediation?
Family mediation is a structured conversation, guided by a specially trained, independent mediator, to help you agree on what happens next after a relationship ends, for your children, your home and your finances. The mediator facilitates discussions between separating couples and guides them to a resolution without bias. It’s voluntary, confidential within clear limits, and focused on practical decisions about the future rather than going over old arguments.
You and your former partner meet with a mediator (sometimes together, sometimes separately) to work through the issues that matter most to you, at a pace that feels manageable. You stay in charge of the decisions. The mediator is not there to provide legal advice to either party. Rather, their role is to manage the discussion, keep things safe and balanced, and help you explore options you might not reach on your own.
Why many Newcastle under Lyme families are choosing mediation over court
Court will always play an important role in separation and divorce, especially where there are serious safety concerns or urgent issues. But for many separating couples, mediation offers real advantages.
- It is usually less adversarial than court, which can reduce stress and help protect children from conflict.
- It often allows you to reach decisions more quickly than waiting for multiple hearings in a busy court system. Mediation focuses on meaningful solutions, typically over four to six sessions.
- Costs are generally more predictable, and many families find mediation works out cheaper than a fully contested legal process.
- You can shape arrangements that fit your family’s routines, values and priorities, rather than working within an imposed court order.
Family Mediation Week takes place against a broader backdrop of court proceedings, partly due to the backlog of cases that built up after the Covid-19 lockdowns. In October 2022, Sir Andrew McFarlane, President of the Family Division, said: “Whilst it is obviously necessary for there to be access to a branch of the justice system in the event of an intractable dispute about children or family finances following a break-up, taking proceedings in the Family Court should be the option of last resort.”
Mediation will not be suitable for every case, but it is an alternative option that allows couples to engage in a voluntary procedure and avoid the complex stages of court litigation. It doesn’t mean you go without legal advice. Many people take independent legal advice alongside mediation, so that when you do reach an agreement, you can be confident about what it means in practice.
How the mediation process works
Understanding the process can make it feel less daunting. While every case is different, the broad stages are usually:
1. Initial contact.
You get in touch with a mediator or a family law firm that works closely with mediators. You’ll usually be asked for brief background details so they can suggest suitable next steps.
2. MIAM (Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting).
This is a one-to-one meeting between you and the mediator. You can talk privately about your situation, your concerns and any risks or safety issues. The mediator explains how mediation works and assesses whether it’s appropriate and safe in your case.
3. Joint mediation sessions.
If mediation is suitable and everyone is willing, you move into joint sessions. These typically last around 90 minutes. Some people meet in the same room; others prefer “shuttle” mediation, where you’re in separate rooms (or online breakout rooms) and the mediator moves between you. In these sessions, you might cover:
- Where the children will live and how time with each parent will work during term time, holidays and special occasions.
- How to deal with the family home, savings, pensions and any debts.
- How day-to-day communication between you will work going forward.
4. Recording what you’ve agreed
When you reach an understanding, the mediator can prepare documents such as a summary of financial information and a parenting plan. Your solicitors can then advise you on turning those into legally binding documents, for example, a consent order approved by the court.
Even when mediation doesn’t resolve everything, it can narrow the issues in dispute and improve communication, which often makes any later court process shorter and less confrontational.
Safety, standards and choosing a mediator you trust
It is completely reasonable to want reassurance before you sit in a room with someone from whom you’ve had a difficult separation. Family mediators are trained to work with conflict and to assess risk, including domestic abuse and safeguarding concerns. If mediation isn’t suitable or safe, the mediator will say so and discuss other options. Where appropriate, they can offer different formats such as shuttle or online mediation so that you don’t have to be in the same room.
When choosing a mediator, it can help to look for:
- Formal accreditation and membership of a recognised professional body.
- Experience in the types of issues you’re facing (children, finances or both).
- A clear explanation of fees and what is included.
- A willingness to work alongside your solicitor so you can get legal advice when you need it.
Common worries and realistic answers
Certain questions come up again and again. And they are all understandable.
What if my ex-partner won’t listen?
The mediator’s role is to manage the conversation so each person has space to speak and be heard. They can set firm ground rules and may suggest shuttle mediation if being in the same room isn’t workable.
Is mediation just a box to tick before going to court?
For some applications, you’ll be asked to consider mediation first, but the aim is genuine problem-solving, not simply a hurdle. Many families reach full or partial agreements in mediation and avoid or reduce court proceedings as a result.
Will the mediator take sides?
A mediator must remain neutral. They do not judge who is “right” or “wrong” and cannot give either of you legal advice. Their focus is on helping you both move towards workable arrangements, with particular attention to the needs of any children.
What if we can’t agree on everything?
That can happen. Mediation can still be useful, because it may resolve some issues and clarify the ones that remain. Anything unresolved can be taken forward with legal advice or, if needed, through the court.
Taking a first step during Family Mediation Week
Family Mediation Week is an opportunity to get reliable information and ask questions in a low-pressure way. Across the country, there are online events and resources for separating couples and for professionals who support families.
Here in Newcastle-under-Lyme, you can use this week simply as a prompt to start a conversation:
- Arrange a short, no-obligation call with a family lawyer or mediator to talk through whether mediation might fit your situation.
- Ask about how mediation would work alongside any legal advice you are already receiving.
- If mediation sounds appropriate, book a MIAM so you can explore it properly and in confidence.
You don’t need to have all the answers, or even be sure that mediation is right for you, before you reach out. Making space to explore your options is often the first real step towards a more settled future for you and your family.
Local mediators
Local mediation services include:
Additional resources
The Family Mediation Council has a full programme of online events lined up throughout the week. It will also publish resources, information, and blog posts explaining the benefits of mediation further.